Loved......and grateful to be.

I apparently suck at blogging. I have been delaying this post for a couple of weeks but have decided it is due. The last couple of months have been really hard on me. (By the way, this post is more for me than anyone, I get a little weepy, so don't feel like you have to continue.) I found out on the 10th of February that Tom and I were expecting child #3. I was so excited!!! I couldn't believe that it was happening again. We told the girls that we were having a baby and called all of the family and a few close friends. The excitement was muted a bit when I started feeling nauseous. You know, just feeling like crap all of the time. I knew it would pass, but this pregnancy is starting out a lot harder than the other two. This better be the boy we have wanted because we are not doing this again!!! Tom was really patient with me and helped around the house between homework, work, and school. My manager at work would let me leave early from work if it was slow, the neighbors and family offered to watch the girls if I needed rest, so many kind words and small acts of kindness.
Skip to March 2. My first appointment with the OB. Tom took work off early to come to the doctor with me. He is such a good husband, he hasn't made me go by myself for any prenatal visits to this day. We were excited to see the baby and hear the heart beat. I was going to get something to help me feel better and find out what our due date was. Well, the due date came early. The doctor couldn't see the baby or hear a heart beat. The lady that did the ultrasound found the baby, but still no heart beat. WHAT????? This is not happening to me! 2 more ultrasounds and still nothing. I was fine until the official word from the doctor. There is no heartbeat the baby has stopped growing, you have miscarried................and then all of the options on how to proceed.
Okay, I know that there are so many women out there that go through this but how do you deal with it???? I cry at almost anything (this is not new for me, it has just gotten worse).
Anyway, my point of this post is this. I felt so loved and supported through the whole ordeal. Tom has been a great support for me, I was extremely grateful that he was there with me at the doctor. He always takes good care of me. My dad gave me a blessing that night that gave me such comfort. I am so thankful for the priesthood and the men in my life that hold it. My mom let me cry and listened to me vent. My friends stopped by that week with gifts and flowers and made phone calls to say they were sorry. Again, so grateful!! My visiting teachers made dinner for the family. Ward leaders called to check on us. My mother-in-law watched Madi while I slept and recovered. My sister-in-law brought lunch and offered to watch the girls. My good friend Jessica watched the girls during the doctor appointment that lasted far longer than it was supposed to and then offered to let Madi play at her house while I mourned. The girls at work called to check on me, sent flowers and gave so many hugs. So, so, so, grateful for all you in my life. I truly am blessed, I couldn't have gotten through the last month without you!!!
I still continue to cry, so many things to remind me of where I thought I would be today. I feel like myself again but a part of me is missing. I dread the month of September, I can't imagine it will be an easy one. September 28th, will forever hold a special place in my heart.
Again, thanks to all of you. Know, that I know, I am loved and more than grateful to be.